View Full Version : I fucking hate disney....

05-07-2004, 04:57 AM
Ok ok I'm back from Orlando... stop with the hugs... really.. I didnt know I was so popular... 8)

So here are the enlightenments I have gathered from my travels.....

- American beer is crap... no excuses... :twisted:

- American food... FUCK ME TASTY! I've never shit so much in my life!

- American women... I've never seen so many XXXXL clothes (probably explained by tasty food)

- American drivers... ZOOOOOOOOOOM! nuff said...

- Mickey Mouse... If I hear that stupid mickey mouse club anthem one more time I'm going to slit that fucking rodents throat and give him a cuban necktie by ripping his tongue through the slit... of course I know he's a fictional character... so one of those minimum wage losers wearing the fake suit will have to suffice.

Overall I want to say, its a very nice place you've got over there... but I cant see myself living there... the girls arnt as easy to get into bed as they are here... and the ones that dont look like whales are probably dating some football player or a rich uncle, due to their rarity. I like the cars though, before I went to the U.S I'd only ever seen one corvette close up, but I actually got to sit in one whilst I was over there, might not sound special to you guys, but over here in Britain its a memory to be tresured... didnt see many Astins over there though... so I guess thats a pro for our side of the pond.

I'll definatly be returning someday... maybe NY or Miami

05-07-2004, 07:26 AM
the girls arnt as easy to get into bed as they are here

Oh that is good news. My darling and I will have such a wonderful time when we go to London next year!

Glad you had a good time and didn't get gang raped by a pack of our many criminals loose on the streets. More of those than fat chicks!

05-07-2004, 10:43 AM
Believe it or not.. I love english food... I mean.. it looks so unappealing.. but.. it's good. (bangers n' mash.. pastys.. cottage pie.. chicken tika masala.. fish n' chips... scampi n' chips.. you guys have the best crisps/potato chips too)

Most American's KNOW our 'major' beers SUCK. But why are they still so popular in England? I saw so many people ordering Budweiser.. argh.

American restaurants give you you 3x too much on every plate.

American drivers... drive fast.. and STUPID. I bet over 80% would FAIL your driving tests you have in place in England. We just dont' take driving seriously. I mean.. Look at our favorite race series here.. NASCAR.. wtf?

You won't see many Astin Martins here.. They do exist.. and they are all $200,000+.. There are a few roaming around Dallas. The big bimmers and Mercs are the 'rich' choice of transportation it seems. I wish we had TVR here in the states... (Used to wish we had the Lotus Elise.. but now we have them..)


05-07-2004, 11:09 AM
If you think American women are fat, you just went to the wrong places. Although I'll say that we do seem to have the two extremes alot. You can find the beautiful people places, and be blown away, or you can go to the average places, and be disappointed. Either way, though, the american women will have better teeth. (laugh)


Sul Morthos
05-07-2004, 11:17 AM
Yea, but never underestimate the value of a decent looking woman with no teeth.

05-07-2004, 11:18 AM

05-07-2004, 11:48 AM
A) I lived in Europe for close to 3 years and I would take an American woman with normal hygiene over the stink ass BO ridden carcasses you call women over there. Go clubbing and by like midnight you can barely breathe due to the malodorous cloud of BO that pervades everything.

B) The best beers (to me) are Belgian and/or Scandinavian. England has some decent brews, but I like what I like. Anyone who 'loves' British cuisine definitely has an acquired taste. Some of the Brit finger foods you mentioned are great to grub on, but if you are talking overall culinary goodness, the UK has to finish near the bottom of Europe.

05-07-2004, 12:12 PM
I've been to the UK twice and have the following to report:

-Food sucks ass... SUCKS ASS. Only food worth eating in UK is chips and Tai food.
-Order a Coke and you get a little miniature bottle and no fucking ICE. Where the fuck is the ICE and where the fuck is my QuikTrip size Coke?
-Most of the women look like mongaloids. It's almost like a special ed school had a huge escape and the retards raped all your women at some point. They are skinny though. Most likely due to your bird size portions. Can I have some MOOOAH please... please!
-Cars are small, roads are small, people are small, weak looking and pale.

Other than that the UK is great. Go to Euro Disney next time.

05-07-2004, 12:14 PM
Yea, but never underestimate the value of a decent looking woman with no teeth.

Aye, and if you are in the market, look no further than pimp Azmo and my infamous stock of toothless whores in zippered hoods.

05-07-2004, 12:27 PM
I will be a vendor for the toothless whores in zippered hoods.

Let us role play it.


05-07-2004, 12:54 PM
LOL, I still remember that time in UO when you and I were RPing that shit in town for like an hour. Me trying to convince you that I had the best stock of toothless whores in zippered hoods in all the realm and you trying to jew me down on the price.

War Knight
05-07-2004, 01:40 PM
Orlando, especially Disney, is no way to gauge women. All you are looking at are soccer moms with their 2.3 kids and huge ass SUV in the parking lot.

05-07-2004, 07:30 PM
- American women... I've never seen so many XXXXL clothes (probably explained by tasty food)

our women may be fat but atlest they shave their armpits and legs

05-07-2004, 08:42 PM
Going straight into Disneyworld as your first experience in America is rather disturbing - kind of like visiting Japan and going straight from the airport to one of those TV shows where they put staples in their faces and see who can drink the most before they piss all over themselves, all while the crowd laughs and cheers like they passed out crystal meth before the lights came up.

An extreme place for a first impression... LOL.

Now, if only it had been "Gay Day" when you went.....

05-07-2004, 09:17 PM
Fuck Dreslin. Come on now, thats not me. Fuck. I never going to see (hear) the end of this one. I really am gong to have to kill the guy that posted with that name. Fuck.

05-08-2004, 10:16 AM
I've never had a girl with a BO problem here in england, or hairy pits and legs... nor crappy teeth, or is it that I dont notice because I have all the things I just stated? :lol:

Anyway, it was a holiday with family that I went on, definatly the last I will go on to say the least. Most people would kill for a free holiday, but if you go with my family you just might have to. Thats why it was a disney/universal trip thingy... I did enjoy some parts though, infact I've got a digital clip of my zooming past on the largest sky coaster in the world (apparently, probably bullshit). And I did manage to woe a chinese waitress into some intense tickling practice :wink: ... I dont judge the whole of US by the Orlando experience though... Maybe Dreslin can get me lodged up in his trailer some time and I can experience the "redneck" way of life 8)

Funny thing is, when I think about most of the things you guys like/dislike about britain... we stole them anyway...

Our national dish is curry... atleast we imported something good from the arab states. The most drank beer here where I live is Stella Artois... the french must have been brewing beer all through the war and gotten good at it, only explanation :) and our national sport is football, sure you can call it soccer, but the real fans will call it football, thats something I noticed aswell, you guys seem to be playing it alot over there now. The thing is your national team is actually pretty good at it, but nobody supports them.

I do however disagree with the hairypit smelly girls thing... you'll probably find more of that happening in southern europe, the big thing here in england is the teenage mother scenerio, we have the largest percentage of teenage pregnancy than anywhere in the world... so I dont understand why we all come off gay... :?

05-08-2004, 11:47 AM
Um, Stella is a Belgian beer.

05-08-2004, 04:01 PM
Val.. I would have to agree and disagree about soccer.. As much as I love it.. our National team just isn't quite "There" yet. But.. I will agree.. part of it is becuase of the lack of support you mentioned.

I have been to England.. but I am sad to say I was way too young to enjoy it. I have played soccer since I was 5.. (29 now) My club coach was from England and we went to many tourney's in England (Manchester and South London). I was only 15 - 16 at the time so I didn't get to appreciate it :)

05-08-2004, 11:51 PM
Maybe Dreslin can get me lodged up in his trailer some time and I can experience the "redneck" way of life 8)

Val man any time you want to come to texas and hang out at my trailor just let me know, all we do here is sit in our kmart folding chairs on the porch shooting the mexicans as they cross the border

05-09-2004, 03:05 PM
Sounds like fun... :twisted:

05-10-2004, 02:39 PM
Orlando, especially Disney, is no way to gauge women. All you are looking at are soccer moms with their 2.3 kids and huge asses.

Fixed that for you.

War Knight
05-10-2004, 05:22 PM
Yes, I can agree with that edit.

05-19-2004, 02:47 PM
As a fellow Brit, i feel i must defend my gender and say we dont smell, we do shave and we have hot accents.
Our food is getting way better, our beer has always been good.
I've visited the USA four times, mainly meeting other guildies. I love the food but whats with the sauce on everything? the portions are HUGE hence the weight problems.
Are American women any different to us? No not at all, well maybe a lil more aggressive, a lil more interested in money but Hey i was in Miami, so thats probably the norm there.
I'm guessing that a few years down the line we will do exactly the same, after all where the US leads we tend to follow

05-19-2004, 02:49 PM
Accents are hot.

We need hot accented hot foreign hot girls in teamspeak.

05-19-2004, 02:57 PM
my "hotness" is for UDL only ;)

05-19-2004, 03:02 PM
If you were truly hot, you would have enough to spread around. Since you are UDL only, you must have a limited quantity. Therefore I do not care.

Besides, I'm only playing Planetside at the moment.

05-19-2004, 03:12 PM
i bow before your greater knowledge...

Sul Morthos
05-19-2004, 04:25 PM
And I know UDL has expanded over the years since I was in a game with them last...but since when did they know "hawt" from a hole in the wall?