PDA

View Full Version : Lost Souls (inspired by KAAOS)



Carnov
04-30-2004, 10:11 PM
Lost Souls

I enter through the door and I feel
the heat, the pain, always the pain.
The pounding, the constant pounding.
I hear the screams at night as the enslaved
souls try to scratch their way free of their
hellish chains. Always the smell of charred flesh.
The stench burned into my memory, never to be
forgotten. I hear the screams of family and friends
and peaople long dead.

Slowly, slowly, they drive me to madness. I cover my ears
but still I hear the pounding, pounding. The viscious horde forever
in my mind pounding, pounding. I close my eyes and fall from consciousness, always hearing the
pounding, pounding, forever pounding.

-Adam
a.k.a. Carnov

Caedis
04-30-2004, 10:51 PM
+2 for effort.
-5 for boring
-10 for too fucking long
+3 for somewhat "dark"
-7.6 for generic
-1 for spelling

Total score: gay.

I think this might rival the gallagher post.

Corkorle
05-01-2004, 12:14 AM
My turn:

Fuck You
The End.


I win?

CrAyOn
05-01-2004, 12:24 AM
+2 for effort.
-5 for boring
-10 for too fucking long
+3 for somewhat "dark"
-7.6 for generic
-1 for spelling

Total score: gay.

I think this might rival the gallagher post.


LOL! :lol:

Kasketfiller
05-01-2004, 12:37 AM
http://ebaumsworld.com/forumfun/negative3.jpg

Carnov
05-01-2004, 07:09 AM
To long? That was one of the shorter ones. You didnt do to well in school did ya? :lol:

Cast thy pearls before swine....

Caedis
05-01-2004, 09:45 AM
Any amount of time spent stepping in a pile of shit is too long.

Hedron
05-01-2004, 10:56 AM
You fucking heathens just don't know how to appreciate good roleplay.

Carnov
05-01-2004, 09:20 PM
Thank you for the insight orbis, Ill make sure to step "over" you when I come across your path.

p.s. Who the fuck asked for you to be a critic? If I want your opinion Ill give it to you.

Biral
05-01-2004, 09:33 PM
Funny you should mention critics. Right in your sig, you have a quote of ericcorp asking how to become KAAOS, which should remind you not to be retarded in general KAAOS boards. Yet you don't realize that by posting your wannabe Edgar Allen Poe evil etc etc poem, you are opening yourself up to criticism. duh. thats like the first rule of art, be it music, painting, kazoo playing, or poems. Don't like it? don't post the fucking poem! If you write a poem only for compliments, expect to be disappointed, especially on a board like this.

Carnov
05-02-2004, 12:18 AM
I didnt post it to get feedback. I posted it because its something I like and maybe others might get something out of. As far as my sig, his retarded question earned that. I didnt ask a question I simply posted something, how is that me being retarded?

If I would have said "What ya think?" then I would have had nothing to say about his comment. He just thought I gave a shit about his opinion (or he was trying to be funny) and posted it.

Caedis
05-02-2004, 07:07 PM
Aww, did I hurt your feewings? How silly of me! Why, I thought for sure you'd be delighted that someone actually read that embarrassing puke stain all the way through. And golly gee, what was I thinking...actually criticizing it? *gasp* If you were expecting roses, you're dumber than I thought. You should feel incredibly thankful that I graced you with comments that were designed to save you from further embarrassment. But I guess my kindness went overlooked while you were busy picking up the pieces of your broken heart.

Do yourself a favor. Open your eyes, and keep your mouth shut.

Ericcorp
05-03-2004, 12:54 AM
Wow, he quoted me, I'm flattered.

On second look, it turns out that you didn't even quote me correctly. perhaps if you had actually read the original post I made, you'd have realized that I mainly asking about the differences between KAAOS the guild and the PS outfit, what KAAOS did outside of Planetside.

But hey, I mean, given the incredible literary prowess of your poem, I'd say that you must have mastered the english language better that I have, so who am I to question.

Faust
05-03-2004, 12:59 AM
I thought it was lovely.

/cookie

Xenomorph
05-03-2004, 09:28 AM
edit: I was going to say this should have been posted in rp forum, but just noticed it was removed

Carnov
05-03-2004, 10:20 PM
Expecting rosses? Re-read my 3rd post then get back with me. Dumbass.
Like I said I wasn't expecting anything from it.

p.s. Your attempts to be hardcore have failed, actually I got a good laugh from them :) go back to your hole.

Eric, I copied and pasted, jesus how did I get that wrong? (incase you couldn't tell that was sarcasm) :P

Caedis
05-04-2004, 02:11 AM
Yes it's quite clear you weren't expecting anything, which squares up nicely with the further ignorance you've shown. What you got was a mouthful of boot. Too bad it came too late to stop you from puking up the first post. But go ahead and review what I've said previously, you ungrateful suckling, and you might just learn enough not to embarrass yourself again.

Scarmasutra
05-05-2004, 03:21 AM
May 9

She bled for three days
and then it stopped
except for a small drop
on Tuesdays and a gush
every December
just as a reminder
that lost
isn't the same as gone.

They called her whore,
Satan-lover, hooker,
all the creative names
that you can give someone
who lets a little part die
so the rest can have fun.

So when she's having a beer
and getting groped and straddled
and screaming in ecstasy
I sit and watch and laugh
'cause I'm coming for them next.

She's forbidden fruit now, you see
take a snack and you get eaten
outside from the in, and I don't
leave scraps for the dogs
Every bite I take and you take makes me
a little more and you a little less
until we're even, then I can
come out and play.

Don't call me the devil, that's my dad
you fucking ignorant cunt;
I can't help it that I
want to have my time in the sun too.
Call it a trade, their lives for mine.
So I've taken a few more than my share?
well, fair is just a place where teenagers
get knocked up behind the carnie booth.

Oh, that cut deep, didn't it?
Good. Because I can't call you whore
slut
prostitute
or hooker.
I have to call you mom.

And you? Well,
You can't call me demon
devil
or mistake.
You have to call me son.

Now go spread your legs again so I can have dinner.
Oh yeah - happy mother's day.

Carnov
05-05-2004, 12:43 PM
"Embarrass" myself? Please, you are so sadly mistaken its no longer even worth posting. You can take your little "Flame Warrior Wannabe" self to some other post. Your shit has been denied, thanks and drive through.

Next please.

p.s. Scar i like that one. Didnt see that end coming lol.

Raidan
05-05-2004, 01:21 PM
Whoot! Don't have to mail a card to mom this year - the email has been sent. :twisted:

Hedron
05-05-2004, 02:00 PM
LOL! WHEEE!!!

Look at all the people catching on!

Caedis
05-05-2004, 07:59 PM
"Embarrass" myself? Please, you are so sadly mistaken its no longer even worth posting. You can take your little "Flame Warrior Wannabe" self to some other post. Your shit has been denied, thanks and drive through.

Next please.

p.s. Scar i like that one. Didnt see that end coming lol.

And right on time, too. I was getting tired of telling you to shut the fuck up. Too bad you still don't get it. Flame warrior? Your ignorance is exceeded only by your complete inability to figure out what the fuck is going on. News flash!! The only shit here is what you're licking off the bottom of my boot.

Kiaus
05-06-2004, 07:02 AM
Orbis has no talent of his own (masterbating to Hedron's PS sceenshots, then typing posts on a sticky keyboard is not a talent), and Scara has shown incredible aptitude at Cut&Paste by c/p'ing that poem and Azmo's old posts and changing around a few words.

You two squirrels will now return to shaving each other's nuts.

Caedis
05-06-2004, 05:37 PM
Kiaus, you're like the used and discarded skanky ex-girlfriend who clamors out of the ditch, covered in her own filth, and latches on to the next guy that comes along, desperately looking for attention.

Kaljoren
05-06-2004, 06:15 PM
lol

Kiaus
05-06-2004, 08:28 PM
Kiaus, you're like the used and discarded skanky ex-girlfriend who clamors out of the ditch, covered in her own filth, and latches on to the next guy that comes along, desperately looking for attention.

I kill all my Ex's (hence the "EX" thing) and bury them in the woods. No clamoring. Now get a tall glass of water before you dehydrate yourself jism-flinging.

Caedis
05-06-2004, 10:12 PM
Sure, I'll get you one too so you can wash it all down.

Kiaus
05-07-2004, 06:20 AM
Don't flatter yourself, Fantasytard. No human being would let you and your knotty swollen wang near them. Perhaps, out of pity, I will fashion you one of those gay-ass monitor coozy things. One with an asshole and pussy. I bet the cool glass will feel good on your razor-burned scrotum. You can hop up on your desk, fuck away at whatever JPG image gets your joint hard, and pretend you are getting some.

That is as close to sex as you are evering going to get. No wonder you are bitter and droll.

Sad little Jism Flinger.

Azmodion
05-07-2004, 11:31 AM
Hopping up on the desk and fucking a mechanical vibrating thingy, attached to your computer, like a monkey while looking at JPG’s = teh win!

Caedis
05-07-2004, 06:01 PM
Did writing that get you all hot and bothered? I bet it even made that flap of skin you call a dick quiver.

Reality check, dipshit. You can sit here and spout all the gay fantasies you like, but don't expect anyone to take you seriously when you still have gobs of fuckstain dripping from your chin. Crawl back to your ditch.