View Full Version : An Interview with the ... er... Guild Leader of KAAOS

08-13-2005, 08:39 PM
I sat down with Qwik, hoping to get a glimpse into the Guild Leader's mind. I found out, unfortunately, that he is indeed not the real leader. Tyo is. However, I am too lazy to go and re-interview him, so I guess I'll just post this for now. Besides, an interview with Tyo might just come from Qwik's mouth anyway!


Me: Excuse me; do you have a moment to answer some questions?
Qwik: Let's get this over with; I have important things to whisper to Tyo.

Me: Being an expert on World of Warcraft, could you give us some pointers on proper class roles?
Qwik: Priests: Be Tyo. Warriors: Be me. Rogues: Don't be Corkorle. Damage things. Shamans: Guild Remove yourselves. Mages: Damage things, sheep things, don't over-aggro things. Hunters: Shoot things. Don't bring level 30 pets to MC. Don't over-aggro things. Druids: Heal. Also, you're there to loot excess items. Warlocks: I'm not sure they do much of anything, to be honest. I think they aggro things, sometimes.

Me: Why did you choose a Warrior as your main character?
Qwik: I made a warrior because they are a necessity in regards to the endgame, and feel that anyone other than myself would be inadequate in the performance of the tasks required. And, because Tyo had already made a priest, another required class. It's not surprising that nothing happens if neither of us are present.

Me: Does it upset you to be less than the Main Tank for KAAOS raids?
Qwik: Beg pardon? That comes dangerously close to implying that I'm not.

Me: You can't be ... I mean. You maybe leeched off of the entire guild to get faction for whateverthefuck that Fire Resist gear crap is, but I don't see you getting first dibs on your set of Might.
Qwik: (Following an arrogant chuckle) I suppose you're one of those who is under the impression that Ryann holds that title. Let's set this all straight: 1)Ryann is the main tank in name only. We are in constant communication at all times during raids; you would not believe the level of hand-holding I subject myself to in order to keep this machine rolling. 2)He gets the Might gear because that is the arrangement we've agreed to. I get booting privileges, and the faction materials, and will pass them both out at my leisure. Good luck to Fauzt. 3)It is a well documented fact that anyone named Ryan is a gigantic douchebag. Seriously.

Me: Not to mention having your character name match your Real Life name.
Qwik: No doubt. If your character name matches the name on your driver's license, I'm pretty sure it's legal to hunt you for sport. I may put in a call to Ice-T.

Me: What is your take on Xia not posting a picture of her breasts?
Qwik: Put up or shut up, bitch!

Me: A few months ago, you quit. Why? Why did you come back?
Qwik: It was all a part of the grand design. I was hoping the immense void left by my departure would spur some initiative with some of the people who I lovingly refer to as "peons". Sadly, the effect was less than expected, so I was forced to come back and "save the day". A win-win situation for me, reflecting back on it.

Me: How does it feel to be the true Guild Leader of KAAOS?
Qwik: First off, that's a misnomer. I prefer "Ancient Myrmidon of Unending Supremacy", but that's a quibble. And you'd like me to admit that, wouldn't you? I must apologize, as though it has been offered many times, I have always declined. I no longer have the time to shoulder such burdens; it takes all of my energy just acting important.

Me: Why do you think that people assume that you're the leader of KAAOS, and Tyo a figurehead?
Qwik: Because he is? I don't think that part is in dispute, ask around. Now, whether I am the real leader or not, who's to say. I wouldn't be shocked to learn that many people look up to me as a sort of role-model, but like I said. I have no inclination to assume that sort of responsibility again. Tyo can have his fun playing pretty-pretty princess; it really makes no difference as far as I am concerned.

Me: If not to lead, what are your intentions with KAAOS?
Qwik: I'm satisfied with my current role. Perks with few responsibilities. People know now not to draw my ire, and that is as it should be. As far as WoW goes, I do take a good bit of satisfaction knowing that all the praise heaped on Ryann is mine by rights. I imagine things will pretty much be set on "cruise" for a while. It can be tiring, being an influential and important member of such an organization.

Me: What is your connection with Excavius?
Qwik: Who?

Me: Excaviuz. A shaman who claimed you told Tyo to boot him.
Qwik: Oh. That guy. Other than Tyo, I really don't deal with names and faces. He thought it would be cute to question my DKP expenditures. I... I mean Tyo, corrected him. The suggestion that I made a mistake is laughable. If it could be said that I erred, it was only in not foreseeing his idiocy, and having him "handled" sooner.

Me: Anyone else have your sights on as a candidate for booting?
Qwik: All the warlocks, for starters. Dead weight, and all that. I would say Corkorle, but I really don't know if one will ever stick. A good number of shamans. Agrimat, he gets on my nerves. Synorc; has he shown up in months? Nonstop; Nonstart, bitch! Hah, I kill me sometimes. I can't give them all away, though. They're much more entertaining when they come out of nowhere.

Me: That reminds me of a thread you started ages ago. 'Boot', I think it was called. Care to expound on what exactly your goal was in that?
Qwik: I recall that. I recall taking a bit of grief for publicizing my little "clique". I'm still working on Nakedsnake and Azlundar, but I can assure you they haven't slipped beneath my notice. I mean come on, a French guy? Who doesn't have him muted in TS? That's what I thought. They will thank me later, mark my words.

Me: Who were the 'untouchable' people that were removed from your 'Boot' list?
Qwik: As naming names might result in the revocation of certain privileges that I would just as soon not lose, I must decline answering this question. Let's just say that they were people who are fortunate I was in the Mercs when I was. If I had been here...they wouldn't be.

Me: What is your relationship to the level 1 characters on the Archimonde realm forums?
Qwik: Funny story. In actuality, I am "Southface". In a brilliant (if I do say so myself) move, I decide to head off any sort of board drama by instigating it myself. I also have about 15 other board "personas", spread out over several accounts, which I use for various board-warrior activities.

Me: So, it comes out. You are the spy of KAAOS.
Qwik: You use the term as a pejorative, when really all I've done has been for the benefit of the guild. Yes; I fed the information to daisuki members, and then blamed it on Excaviuz, to facilitate my...er...Tyo's booting, but really. Aren't we all better off? True enough, I need to weed out at least 13 more shamans before we get down to a manageable number, but we had to start somewhere.

Sadly, at this point he abruptly cut off the interview, mumbling something about having 'An important meeting to go to' or 'Wife aggro'... Who knows.
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08-13-2005, 10:50 PM
lol good stuff

08-14-2005, 01:34 PM

08-14-2005, 03:11 PM

08-15-2005, 08:19 PM
Nice job Duvii!

11-10-2005, 03:15 PM
The leader was too busy with WoW, a romance? Yes here is the live feed...http://media.putfile.com/PurePwnage-WoWisafeeling


11-10-2005, 03:47 PM
The leader was too busy with WoW, a romance? Yes here is the live feed...http://media.putfile.com/PurePwnage-WoWisafeeling


OMG ~ that's hilarious !