View Full Version : The REAL History of KAAOS

07-02-2004, 08:12 PM
What a sad sight to behold. Sigh. It seems that you poor KAAOS newbies have fallen victim to deception. Let me elucidate the obfuscated nebula of your history, in hopes that you might recognize the error of your ways and find peace in the pursuit of truth.

Before the guild of KAAOS migrated to NWN (from the silly land of INN, we assume), your leader and founder (Malhavok), ventured to Neverwinter. Being a naive sort, he fell in with the wrong crowd. (C0ld Chill, was it?)

Though he was a promising student, Malhavok's mentors failed to warn him of the dangers lurking in the shadows of Neverwinter (like small, blue, feeb-flavored-lollipop toting wizards, for instance.) Late one night, while he trained his skills in the land of regenerating wizards (Llast), one of these small, blue wizards snuck up behind him.

Malhavok's last sane memory was his introduction to the Smurf Shuffle. The little blue wizard boogied on down around Malhavok before smacking him upside the head with his feeblepop.

Now, most feebs can be cured at the local apothecary, but a Smurf feeb is a whole different brand of cattle. Although the victim generally appears to have recovered, a subtle insanity has infested the mind. Addiction to feebs sets in, and before you know it, the victim is sniffing and snorting feeb powder while no one is looking. Delusions of grandeur, paranoia, and megalomania disrupt the brain's normal operation.

This, I'm sorry to say, was the sorry state of your leader before any of you came to know the brainchild of his insanity - KAAOS. While no one was looking, he was begging the little blue wizards for more of their feebs. He was a feeb junkie. Of course, in public he would deny it. But behind closed doors, he squandered his fortune paying Smurfs to feeb him.

In 1993, he hit rock bottom. He began staging battles in the woods, and secretly ESPing Smurfs to come to his fight and feeb him, in an attempt to cover up his addiction.

But the real victims of Malhavok's feeb addiction are you, the followers of the deluded feeb junkie. Your whole existence and purpose was the result of a feeb. Now is the time to cut your losses and find meaningful, productive lives, with real guilds.

Now go, and be fruitful.

Your friend,

Dark Smurf

07-03-2004, 03:30 AM
LOL. I remember when Santa Smurf used to show up and reach into his bag to find happy feebs to distribute to all the little girls and boys.

07-03-2004, 06:30 AM
So what guild should I join? :roll:

07-06-2004, 06:11 PM